Generally, swingers do not show jealousy on the surface. Most swingers argue that this is because by going to parties together and leaving together, they realize their commitment to each other as a couple. Thus, they do not feel threatened because the other partner has gone into another room to have sexual relations with another individual. One such swinger said, "We both know that each of us have experiences with other people and, yet, we come back to each other because we want to be together" They feel that this gives you a feeling of security that you never had before because you feel and know that the partner is coming back to you even though they have had a sexual relationship with someone else. They feel that this builds up self-confidence and security.

For a couple to engage in swinging, they must throw off the belief that having sexual relations outside of marriage is improper; they must break the shackles of the double standard. That is, the wife will be having sexual relations with other males much as the male may have had sexual relations outside the marriage with another partner previously. Swinging for most women changes their view of the world and sexual relations. Many argue that it has made a complete turnaround in their life from the way they viewed the world two or three years before swinging.

In attempting to determine what causes some women to go into swinging, It's noted that many wives are urged by their husbands and others go into swinging to carry out their fantasies. One such woman reported that she finally acquiesced in going to a swinging party saying that she would not participate but would be willing to go and observe, have dinner and a drink or two.

Swinging is about commitment, that is, commitment to each other and the relationships you are in.

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